Thursday, March 26, 2009

Attachemet Parenting

So locally I don't really know any moms that practice attachment parenting and gentle discipline. Well, thats not entirely true, I do know a few that do things very similar but I guess we have never really "talked" about it. Very hard to explain I guess :)

Anyway, I was looking for somewhere online to get advice from other moms in a forum like situation where I could post a question (or they could post a question) and get advice from other gentle discipline/ AP moms, knowing that pooling of knowledge can be very helpful when trying to deal with a 2.5 year old without tearing ones hair out.

Now, I know my 2.5 year old isn't the *only* 2.5 year old that acts like he does but somedays I just don't know what to do or where to turn for advice. I ask my family and I would be told just to spank or do time out. Spanking I am for sure not okay with and time outs, while not horrible, aren't always what I feel like the best choice is. I just feel like there must be a "better way" to deal with some of the stuff he does.

Example? Ivy was 3 or 4 weeks old and in her infant carseat. I had the brilliant thought "Oh its just milk, no biggie" and took both kids in the store with no cart figuring Aaron would follow just fine. He made it as far as the milk aisle before sitting in the middle of it and refusing to move and blocking the lane for several other people. Of course with the infant carrier + infant in one hand and milk in the other I was out of arms and hands to get him up. Every fiber of my being wanted to toss the milk back on the shelf and drag him out of there by his ear.

I stopped, thought a moment about what I could do, and it hit me. "Aaron, can you help Mama get the milk to the register so we can pay for it? It is very heavy and I need your help carrying it." He thought for a second, got up, and grabbed the handle of the milk "helping" me get it to the register.

It was really a rather proud moment for me. We figured out a way to work through that situation without either of us losing our heads. It was a matter of reprogramming my thinking.

Anyway, I have gone off on a tangent here, as I often do. A few of my online friends had been talking about starting a yahoo group for other moms that wanted an attachment parenting friendly place to get advice, so, this morning, I worked out all the back end stuff and set it up!

It has been up for about 12 hours now and so far we are already at almost 50 messages. I am rather impressed and happy at how quickly the new members have jumped in and hope to keep getting new applicants and new members.

If anyone is interested

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

And in a moment...

I am all grown up.

Did you ever have that "ah ha" moment when you suddenly realize you aren't a teen or a "young adult" anymore?

That hit me yesterday. In a single moment I realized that I have my two kids, my two cats, we are closing soon on a new house, and that I am going to be someones landlord. I am going to be in charge of finding us the correct tenant that will pay rent and take care of the house we are in now. I am going to have to handle the phone calls when something breaks and know how to get them fixed. I am going to have to be the one to send letters etc if rent isn't paid. Yikes!

I mean I have been a mom, a good mom, to both my kids for more than 3 years if you count the pregnancy with Aaron. And I have been a wife for about 8 months so neither of those are really that new, it just all suddenly hit at once I guess.

What is fun is in my group of friends I am the "young one" when most of the time I just feel so out of touch with other people my age group.

Anyway I digress.

So yes we now have a new house. We close on the 13th of next month and I have less than a month to pack up a 3 bedroom house with two adults and 2 kids worth of junk in it and move it to the new house. I am so excited to have some more space and a lot more area for storage but still! It will be a fun few weeks.

We have a calendar drawn up on our whiteboard and I have listed projects that need to be done between now and moving (packing up the bookshelves, the desk, extra stuff in the kids rooms, etc) so I can at least *try* to have some organization in this process.

I am excited for my new kitchen that I was drooling over from the moment I saw it.

Monday, March 9, 2009

I Remember Monday

Stealing a friends Monday theme idea I am afraid.

I remember meeting Pete. I remember thinking that the world would end because of how we ended up getting together. You see, I was dating his college roommate when I met him. I can't be sure this is how it actually happened but this is at least how I remember it.

I had been dating his roommate for about 3 weeks (maybe 4?) and we went to a gathering at the guy I was dating's house. A bunch of odd things happened that night but it ended with the guy I was dating telling me I should go out with Pete and see what happened.

Both Pete and I thought he was crazy. There was *nothing* between us. However knowing he wouldn't let it drop until then, we agreed and went out for a date June 1st, 2002. It was supposed to be the night of my Junior prom but I skipped it and went out with Pete instead. I honestly can't remember what we did on that first date other than drive around a lot. I have memory flashes of a just sitting hanging out in the old Jetta driving through a section of the interstate between Waterbury and Richmond. I remember the dates after that quite clearly though.

There was much drama over the next couple of months as friends divided and took "sides" as everyone realized that Pete and I had a good time on our date and I officially broke it off with his roommate.

Now here we are, almost 7 years later. We have a house and some cars and two beautiful children. Sometimes I go back and read the emails between us over that first summer and remember all the drama and how scary and odd it was at the time. Amazing how a few years changes the view on a situation!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Seasonal Issues

Yep, I am in the thick of seasonal affective disorder. For those not from the north the lack of sunlight in the winter can actually cause depression. I love it up here minus the SAD and the cold.

I keep giving thought to tanning once a week as that helped me in the past when I was having trouble but by the end of the day getting out to go tanning just isn't appealing at all even though I know it would help, it is also not cheap or good for the skin.

I have full spectrum lighting, doesn't really help much I am afraid.

Of course what doesn't help at all is that we have been cooped up so much. Were were sick most of the month of February plus Ivy still usually wants 2 naps a day but won't nap anywhere but her crib and she SCREAMS in the car and makes it near impossible to focus on driving when she screams so much.

I am a *huge* fan of extended rear-facing carseats with kids but I need to admit, I am giving thought to turning her shortly after her 1st birthday. Neither way is safe really as if she is rear facing she is screaming and I am unable to focus so we are more likely to get in an accident but if she is forward facing she is more likely to be injured if we *do* get into an accident.

So instead I end up stuck here at home. So now I am part hermit, though admittedly a slightly sad and lonely hermit. Which in turn aggravates the SAD more. Quite the circle really!

Anyway, I am looking forward to the start of spring because it means that at the very least I can go out in the yard and it means Ivy will be that much closer to one nap a day and *maybe* just *maybe* she will learn to handle the carseat.

Until then I just need to invite as many people over as possible and hope people visit us!