So ever since I was a little kid I remember having a nervous stomach. It got better when I got older, at least most of the time. That was until I had kids. It seems birthing children broke something in my guts and now I have IBS. This doesn't come as a huge shock since just about everyone in my family has stomach troubles but of course this was one I was hoping would skip me.
Now why would this be a big deal? The main reason is because anytime I leave the house I worry about needing a bathroom and in turn the worrying upsets my stress induced stomach. It is a horrible cycle but I am beyond knowing how to break the cycle.
It also means I have a hard time going out and meeting friends. Sometimes even seeing my best friends makes my stomach go nuts because it is a social situation and I am very easily stressed by that. I guess you could say I am painfully shy.
I am sitting here now getting ready to meet a friend IRL for the first time. I have been talking to her for nearly 5 years and we were pregnant at the same time with our firsts and I have been dealing with a horrible stomach all morning. I have no *real* reason to be nervous. I know she is a good person, I know she has similar stomach trouble, I know she is likely the last person in the world that would ever judge me, but still, Imodium and I have been best buddies this morning.
I have been to the doctors of course but there is nothing that can really be done. I can take anti-anxiety meds but those would just make me sleepy and a sleepy mom doesn't take care of kids so well.
So until I figure out how to fix it, I stay at home an awful lot, way more than I ever want to.